In light of Eclipse, the third installment of the Twilight movie series debut, I've researched the top 5 girls' & boys' baby names of present day because of the chatter that parents' have started naming their kids after famous characters like Edward, Bella, and Jacob (which, to me, raises the more alarming question of how young the people are that are having babies). Anyways, here it is:
GIRLS
1. Emma: German name for "all-embracing". Sounds kinda slutty to me.
2. Isabella: German/Spanish for "consecrated to God". Tween for "hot chick from Twilight who's into vamps and shit".
3. Emily: meaning "eager". I guess that's cool if you're going for one of those docile, trained puppy kinda kids.
4. Madison: HOLLA! Actually I'm kind of upset about this because I'd rather not be so mainstream. And I like being the only one who turns around when my name is uttered in a room. Call it narcissistic. It is.
5. Ava: Latin for "blooming"... won't even comment on that one.
BOYS
1. Jacob: the boys of the future will be remembered as that werewolf with a six-pack or Taylor Swift's ex.
2. Michael: definitely going to be a rise in this name over the next few years to commemorate a lost legend, Michael Jackson. Hopefully the parents of these youngsters will do a better job than Joe.
3. Ethan: Latin for "constant". I can see this one leading to "constant pain in the ass" but that just might be my distaste for children.
4. Joshua: This name is gross and dumb........Just joshin' ya! (Sorry, that was pathetic)
5. Daniel: Ohhhh, Danny boy, Danny boy, Danny boyyyyy. And that's all I have to say about that one.
I'm just happy that "Miley" hasn't hit the top of these lists yet.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Just point, blast, and cook.
It's right next to the eggs!
...Hmm. Doesn't quite sound like an item I want making my breakfast.
Introducing The Batter Blaster, a "hot" new item of the culinary realm that was brught to my consumer attention several times during a commercial break on Bravo (whose network name really isn't boding well for itself this time). The Batter Blaster, which most definitely was created by a serious stoner, is a bizarre cousin of Cheez-Whiz that promises the similar easy-dispense feature but this time, with pancake batter. Its other claim-to-fame is being organic and kosher, which doesn't quite matter to me after reading the ingredient list (whole egg solids, lactic acid from beet sugar, etc). I don't want to even know what happens if the "do not store in an environment above 45 degrees Fahrenheit" rule is broken.
Somehow, that "AMAZING!" graphic doesn't win me over. Bottom line, this may have been a good idea in theory, but I'd rather spend the 5 extra minutes whipping up some pancakes from scratch than spend the next 2 days with food poisoning. Save yourselves!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Currently watching the BET Awards. This year is the 10th anniversary of the show and my GIRL Queen Latifah is hosting (I'm gonna look past the not so graceful maneuver she made to get down the steps). I'm glad to see that Nick Cannon's still doing his thing and keeping his career up. Not so sure I can say the same for his wifey... Nicki Minaj is looking FRESH. To quote my boy ZFry, she absolutely is the next "Queen Bee". Diddy and Ludacris were also some of the better dressed celebs to hit the carpet. The pre-show performances were dece, including acts by Mishon, Roscoe, and Soulja Boy, but they certainly saved the real deals for the actual show. Kanye opened up with his new single "Power" and you gotta admit, regardless of how much of a total d-bag he acts like 24/7, he's seriously talented and knows what he's doing. No one else can hold an audience like that these days, just standing on stage alone doing his thing. Trey Songz is looking extra good, and I'm still wondering why Tommy Lee is at this show. I giggled at Rick Ross trying to French-ass his name up a la "Rick Rose-ay" . Alicia Keys is beautiful and her baby with Swizz Beatz (was I the only one who really didn't see that coming?). Really looking forward to some of these performances... Especially by PRINCE. Are you watching?
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
My Neighbor...
Recently, Toy Story 3, the 3D sequel to the previous Disney-Pixar films, came out in theaters, and ever since it has been receiving rave reviews. I had all intentions of going to the ever-so-necessary midnight premiere with friends, but then I realized I'd rather spend those 109 minutes getting some shut-eye. WORST. DECISION. EVER. Not only has every person on the planet that I've come in contact with for the past week had nothing to talk about besides the animated feature, but I just found out that one of the biggest household names in show business (well, at least in my household) has a cameo appearance in the movie! That's right, friends... TOTORO is featured in Toy Story 3.
For those of you unfamiliar with Totoro, you might as well consideer yourself non-living creatures. My Neighbor Totoro (1988) is a Japanese anime film by Hayao Miyazaki (otherwise known as "genius"). My parents made me and my sister watch it back in the day along with another crucial-to-living-life movie, Fern Gully. *In retrospect, the least we could do was allow the couple that gave us life to force us to watch these actually child appropriate films, considering at age 6, I preferred the likes of Empire Records, Married to the Mob, and Saturday Night Fever.*
The movie turned out to be the most endearing, heart-warming film I'd ever see in the duration of my adolescence. And Totoro became a beacon of hope in my young, fantasy-loving life that was quickly being suffocated by discoveries that Santa isn't real (I'm still skeptical) and that ice cream is bad for you (the calcium benefits outweigh the negatives in my mind). It features a struggling family that seeks comfort in a giant rabbit/whale/penguin/cat/spirit-type thing whose primary modes of transportation include floating, hopping, and teleportation. He/she/it/Totoro also guards the forest, summons large buses in the shape of a cat, and is oddly penchant for umbrellas and small Asian children.
I understand how one might think I'm on major drugs for liking this movie, relating to this movie, or merely suggesting that you should watch this movie. But you must trust me on this one when I say that you're confusing my alleged drug use for your own shame in not ever seeing this film.
Totoro-Toy Story time. Sayonara, bitches.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Happy June 22nd!
Two days ago was Father's Day. Yesterday was the first day of summer. Everyone made such a fuss about those two days, and it made me realize something:
What about those other days that come after a big holiday? Does anyone ever pay any attention to them? I could be missing out on a really awesome little-known holiday just because some big bully holiday like Summer Solstice is stealing all the spotlight (and literally, too- it's got the most hours of sunlight out of all the days of the year!).
I feel as though it is my journalistic duty to examine the unexamined, therefore I did some research on June 22. And this is what I found.
What about those other days that come after a big holiday? Does anyone ever pay any attention to them? I could be missing out on a really awesome little-known holiday just because some big bully holiday like Summer Solstice is stealing all the spotlight (and literally, too- it's got the most hours of sunlight out of all the days of the year!).
I feel as though it is my journalistic duty to examine the unexamined, therefore I did some research on June 22. And this is what I found.
- It is 173rd day of the year (174th if it's a leap year)
- It is National Chocolate Eclair Day (or Cry-Til-Your-Eyeballs-Fall-Out If You're On a Diet Day, for those of you unfamiliar)
Just thought I'd take you back to your childhood with this one -->
- Feudalism was abolished in British North America on this day in 1825
- Meryl Streep was born today in 1949 (61 years ago and still looking pretty good, might I add)
- It is Teachers Day in El Salvador... Felicidades, profesores.
So before you think that there's not something to be celebrated today just because two major holidays just took place, play serf, buy Meryl Streep a birthday eclair, and have a very happy June 22.
ByeByeKitty
I'm sorry, but can someone PLEASE fill me in on the obsession with HelloKitty? I don't know if I'm missing something or if I'm just crazy, but I honestly do not comprehend. For your viewing pleasure, here are some absurd applications of HelloKitty to real life things that should never have anything to do with a cartoon, no-mouthed kitten.
Sorry but I don't want to watch my vampire porn on True Blood through HelloKitty's FACE.
Hitting a Kitty is not nice, in any interpretation of the phrase.
For the all those girly girls out there in the country who want to add a few more deers to their family's collection in style.
No matter how good your "Stairway to Heaven" is, you automatically drop 500 cool points in my book if you play it on this sucker.
Finally, something to top Ed Hardy shoes in terms of heinousness.
After a few glasses of these, this whole HelloKitty obsession isn't looking so bad.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Throw Some Deez On This Blog
I started blogging back in the day, but an older and wiser friend of mine recently refueled my fire to blog. This is my take on something I borrowed from her blog, and I'm making it my second post as an homage to her. Basicallyshestheshitandsupersmartandfunny, so like go read her blog: www.pleasedontfeedthehipsters.blogspot.com.
If I were…
If I were a month, I’d be February (28 days? 29 days? Why can't that damn month ever hit the 30 mark?).
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday.
If I were a time of day, I’d be that hour you skip during Day Light Savings.
If I were a planet, I’d be Pluto (we thought it was a planet, then we didn't - what a sick joke).
If I were an animal, I’d be anything without fur or feathers because that'd just be tragic to be allergic to yourself.
If I were a direction, I’d be that one that GoogleMaps always leaves out that ends up screwing you over.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a barstool. Sit, stand, or hit someone in the back of the head with it.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Mercury.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be that Moonstone that Mary Kate and Ashley search for in Double Double Toil and Trouble.
If I were a tree, I’d be short.
If I were a tool, I’d be The Situation.
If I were a flower, I’d be a buttercup. If you believe in me, I'll tell you if you like butter or not by emanating a yellowish glow on your chin.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a wintry mix. I always liked how the E is omitted in the word "winter" there.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a recorder. Do I mean those annoying imitation second-rate flute/clarinet type pieces of crap you're forced to squeak through in elementary school, or a device that captures sound? Your call.
If I were a color, I’d be Unmellow Yellow.
If I were an emotion, I’d be emo.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a tomato. Borderline vegetable.
If I were a sound, I’d be that unceasing sniffling noise coming from the kid in the back corner of your class while you're taking a test.
If I were an element, I’d be Earth, Wind, or Fire just so I could be a part of the group... They're some bad mamajamas.
If I were a car, I’d be a gas guzzler.
If I were a food, I’d be a Klondike bar. What would you do for me?
If I were a place, I’d be the capital of Wisconsin. Or a Square Garden. Or an Avenue. Oh wait...
If I were a material, I’d be pleather... perfect for sweating.
If I were a taste, I’d be savory with a spicy aftertaste.
If I were a scent, I’d be Lipsmackers Lunar Lime. Ballin'.
If I were an object, I’d be a teleportation device. Hasn't been invented yet but you know it's gonna be fucking awesome when it is.
If I were a body part, I’d be the funny bone. Sounds like a good time, but it's not so funny when you hurt it, is it?
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a raised eyebrow.
If I were a song, I’d be Back That Azz Up by Juvenile. Classy.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be stripper stilettos with reinforced heels sturdy enough to dance on top of a bar in and make it through the Walk of Shame home in.
If I were…
If I were a month, I’d be February (28 days? 29 days? Why can't that damn month ever hit the 30 mark?).
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday.
If I were a time of day, I’d be that hour you skip during Day Light Savings.
If I were a planet, I’d be Pluto (we thought it was a planet, then we didn't - what a sick joke).
If I were an animal, I’d be anything without fur or feathers because that'd just be tragic to be allergic to yourself.
If I were a direction, I’d be that one that GoogleMaps always leaves out that ends up screwing you over.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a barstool. Sit, stand, or hit someone in the back of the head with it.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Mercury.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be that Moonstone that Mary Kate and Ashley search for in Double Double Toil and Trouble.
If I were a tree, I’d be short.
If I were a tool, I’d be The Situation.
If I were a flower, I’d be a buttercup. If you believe in me, I'll tell you if you like butter or not by emanating a yellowish glow on your chin.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a wintry mix. I always liked how the E is omitted in the word "winter" there.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a recorder. Do I mean those annoying imitation second-rate flute/clarinet type pieces of crap you're forced to squeak through in elementary school, or a device that captures sound? Your call.
If I were a color, I’d be Unmellow Yellow.
If I were an emotion, I’d be emo.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a tomato. Borderline vegetable.
If I were a sound, I’d be that unceasing sniffling noise coming from the kid in the back corner of your class while you're taking a test.
If I were an element, I’d be Earth, Wind, or Fire just so I could be a part of the group... They're some bad mamajamas.
If I were a car, I’d be a gas guzzler.
If I were a food, I’d be a Klondike bar. What would you do for me?
If I were a place, I’d be the capital of Wisconsin. Or a Square Garden. Or an Avenue. Oh wait...
If I were a material, I’d be pleather... perfect for sweating.
If I were a taste, I’d be savory with a spicy aftertaste.
If I were a scent, I’d be Lipsmackers Lunar Lime. Ballin'.
If I were an object, I’d be a teleportation device. Hasn't been invented yet but you know it's gonna be fucking awesome when it is.
If I were a body part, I’d be the funny bone. Sounds like a good time, but it's not so funny when you hurt it, is it?
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a raised eyebrow.
If I were a song, I’d be Back That Azz Up by Juvenile. Classy.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be stripper stilettos with reinforced heels sturdy enough to dance on top of a bar in and make it through the Walk of Shame home in.
Bloggin' is a Habit, Get Like Me
A good friend of mine once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and write a blog sometime, you might miss it." Alas, here I am, writing it. And there you are, reading it.
OK... so you caught me. That was Ferris Bueller (technically I only lied by omission because, in my mind, we're good friends despite his being a fictional character), and no, that's not exactly what he said. But because we're such great in-my-head friends, I know that's sort of what Ferris kind of maybe really meant.
Before you judge me and come to the conclusion that I'm seriously delusional (not that you don't have every reason to believe that thus far), give this blog a shot. And if it ends up leading you to that very conclusion, so be it - as long as you enjoy it. I've already conformed to every other over-publicizing-your-personal-life-on-the-Internet trend. I mean, why just get the #1 when the Happy Meal comes with all that and a toy, right? Therefore I'm fully investing myself into writing this blog, and you're going to read it.
Hey, don't get mad at me because I'm right. Just get Mad with me. It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world out there, as long as you're in MadBack's head. And let's face it - right now, you're in it.
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