I'm at the Jersey Shore, bitch!

In honor of the Jersey Shore 2 premiere last night (which I strongly recommend you all watch as if your tan depended on it), I have compiled a list of necessary terms for one to be familiar with if you aren't from Jersey and/or have never seen the show (blasphemy). Study up then head to MTV.com to check out last night's stellar premiere in which the crew heads to Miami to bring some Jersey Shore style to the South East coast.

• GTL: an acronym standing for "Gym, Tanning, Laundry" which indicates the method used by guidos as preparation for a night out. Consists of working out at the gym for at least an hour, heading to the tanning salon if you couldn't make it to the beach that week, and picking out the hottest outfit.


• GFA/GFF: acronyms standing for "Grenade Free America" and "Grenade Free Foundation". The GFF advocates the GFA campaign. Please see: "grenade".


• Grenade: term used to describe a fuller-figured ugly woman


• Landmine: term used to describe a thinner ugly woman


• Gorilla Juicehead: a very muscular, good looking Guido


• Blowout: a typical Guido hairstyle in which an excessive amount of hair gel is applied to the hair before using a blow dryer to create an effect similar to sticking your finger in an electrical socket.


• Poof: the Guidette female counterpart for the Guido's "blowout", a hairstyle in which the hair at the front of the scalp is gathered into a big bubble on the top of the head and secured by a chip clip and an excessive amount of hairspray.


• Fist Pump: a staple dance move in which a fist is formed and thrust into the air repeatedly to the beat of house music.


• Beat Up the Beat: a form of killing it on the dance floor at a club. One must start out crouched down low on the floor, with a fist pump formed, and literally "beat" the beat up by fist pumping all the way up to standing position before going absolutely wild.


• Creep: to search for and hit on women. To truly go all out is known as "getting creepy, filthy, and weird".


• Smush: to have sex.


• Bomb: a friend of the female you are trying to pursue who is getting in the way of your plans of taking said female home. A bomb must be detonated or else she will become catastrophic to your plans.


• Robbery: stealing another guy's girl.