So Long Sweet? Summer

Today marked the first day of classes and the longest day of my life in the four sweet, blissful, do-nothing months that formed what I liked to call the boring-est summer ever (no offense Gary, my suit selling coworker who wanted to take me out on a date to Red Lobster - I'm sure our romance would have blossomed and made my summer more riveting, had Macy's of Cherry Hill provided me with more working hours).

But before I even comment on the events of today, I would like to provide a final closure to summer 2010 with a list of the top 3 most disgusting things I had to do within that period of time... I guess I can't complain about summer being boring or I'll get slapped in the face with grotesque tasks such as these.

#5: Not showering for 4 days in a row while cohabitating with thousands of hippies who usually don't shower for weeks in 110 degree, 90 percent humidity southern weather in the outdoors. Also known as "Bonnaroo". **Disclaimer: this may be on the "Most Disgusting Things I Did This Summer List", however it does not mean I have any negative feelings towards it. And I will definitely be doing it again every year for the rest of my life, God and gasoline willing.

#4: Having to use port-o-potties at Bonnaroo in Tennessee and Dave Matthews Band in Camden. I would say "never again" but I know this is an unrealistic promise to make myself, though it is one out of my best health interests.

#3: Clean out old loose month-old Wawa shorti hoagie meatballs rolling around the floor of my car, courtesy my munchie-plagued shotgun holding bestie. That's the thanks I get from being designated driver. I managed to play it off to my GRANDMOTHER WHO DISCOVERED THEM as "dirty rocks that must have fallen into the back seat when the windows were open"... Yep. The meatballs were that old. Hey, Morgan Spurlock - at least you know Wawa meat is more natural than Mickey D's!

#2: Plunging my hand into a public restroom toilet. Let me back that up before you think I'm completely and utterly repulsive and think twelve times before shaking my hand... It was necessary. I had to retrieve a key I dropped it in that I needed for work. Yes, my life is a joke. I just feel kinda bad for whoever had to use the key after that...

#1: Hand-washing someone else's vomit out of my bed. And by "bed", I mean the sheets, the mattress cover, the pillow cases, the throw pillows, the comforter, oh... and even the headboard. Definitely going to have to avoid Japanese restaurants for a loooooooooong time.

Well there you have it. You officially feel better about your mediocre summer of being a summer camp counselor, and I officially feel like I need to take a bath in acid. Rest in pieces, summer 2010.